Dark Shadows of the Veil
by Toofdap
Summary: After the incident with the veil, Remus doesn't know what to do. Pairing: RemusSirius. Warnings: Slash, angst


Dark Shadows of the Veil

_Archive_: Padfoot...Snuffles, Azkaban's lair, SBRL,  
_Summary_: After the incident with the veil, Remus doesn't know what to do.  
_Pairing_: Remus & Sirius  
_Disclaimer_: All characters etc belong to JK Rowling - I just 'borrow' them from time-to-time  
_Spoilers_: OotP  
_Author's Notes_: Companion fic to The Veil Beyond, but from Remus' POV. June '96 full moon data from here   
_Warnings_: Angst  
_"Awww, how sweet. I love stories where Sirius comes back. You did a really good job capturing Remus' emotion and memories, too."_ Respuestaes42

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"There's nothing you can do, Harry... nothing... he's gone."  
Those words were too hard to say. Each pause felt like my heart was breaking, each breath I took rattled around the empty void Sirius had left. Weak through the shock of losing him so suddenly I couldn't keep a grip on Harry's arm and he ran. I knew I should follow him, chasing after Bellatrix, but I couldn't summon the energy: nothing felt important anymore. I wanted to follow Sirius through that veil, even though it could have meant death for myself, just to feel his protective arms over my shoulders, his powerful embrace, to breath that familiar almost dog-like musky scent of his. I did all I could and sank onto the dias, burying my head in my hands. I knew I should be strong for Harry and the others, but with him out of the room and Neville walking back to check on Ginny and the others, I could let my emotions envelop me.

It had been many years since I cried, fourteen years in fact. The last time I sat head in hands with tears streaming down my face was when my dear Sirius was taken from me: dragged away laughing, like a lunatic being dragged off to the asylum. That day I did nothing but sit and cry for my mate being taken away to Azkaban, never expected to return. Memories of Sirius in the Shrieking Shack two years ago came flooding back into my mind, overtaking the emotion and quelling the tears. I remembered how he held me in his powerful arms in front of Harry Hermione and Ron, and how none of the trio had guessed on our relationship. Not even Severus had thought we were romantically entwined.

It seemed so wrong that he had been taken away so quickly like that. Having escaped from Azkaban, ran all the way back to Hogwarts and finding Harry... saving him from whatever Peter had been planning. Then to be taken away in a scene so strange it could have been taken from one of those Muggle science fiction novels, seemed so unreal. At least he had been able to save Harry from the Deatheaters: that's one thing he had wanted to do. His will was too strong even for Severus to subdue: his need to be there for Harry, to protect him. Only to have his life finished by his own cousin.

Tears welled in my eyes once more, at the thought of Sirius' life wasted, being killed at the age of 36, and at the thought of James and Lily, dying at only 22. Why did they die and not me? I should have been the one to die when I was bitten all those years ago. If only two years ago I had taken my potion the night Sirius and me were reunited, Peter wouldn't have escaped and Voldemort may not have returned. Then we wouldn't have been here in the Department of Mysteries in the first place. Knowing Harry, he would be going through similar thoughts in his own mind, the 'if only' thoughts which you think could have changed the outcome but probably wouldn't have happened anyway.

Moving my hand over my cheek, I noticed my face was damp once more from those tears. I tried to remember my last words to him before we set out for the Ministry tonight. Severus had sent a message to us at Grimmauld Place to explain Harry's dream and to request our assistance for a rescue party for the teenagers. Sirius had demanded to go along with us, but what was the last thing I had said to him? Racking by brain once more, I remembered. I held Sirius in my arms in the few seconds before we were due to Apparate to the Ministry, and whispered something into his ear, "be careful Padfoot."

My robes were getting damp from tears dripping off my face, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore, nothing was important to me as Sirius, and with him now, I didn't know what I would do. I'd survived for twelve years without him, but I knew he was alive, at least when he went into Azkaban. Now, having witnessed his death it all seemed so much worse. My keen sense of hearing picked up the sound of footsteps on the flagstone floor; two people entering the room with the dias and Sirius' veil. I didn't bother to look up, as whoever it was wouldn't have been interested in myself or the veil. They were probably just cleaning the scene of the 'crime' ready for the workers to re-enter the building the next day. A gentle hand on my shoulder made me look up. Dumbledore had brought Harry back into the room, but the boy was on the other side of the dias thankfully unable to see my tear stained face.

"There is a way," he whispered to me, those blue eyes twinkling behind his glasses.  
I looked at him, full of confusion. A way for what? For me to look after Harry or for me to live without Sirius?  
"I have studied the workings of this veil for many years," he continued, "there is a way of getting someone back from it. Going through it doesn't necessarily mean instant death."  
I looked back at those twinkling blue eyes, almost afraid to believe what he was saying. There was a way of getting someone back from the veil?  
"The veil passes a being into the after life. Sirius may have met other people he recognised. Maybe even Lily and James."   
I gasped and flicked my eyes over to Harry still sitting on the other side of the dias.  
"I haven't explained that bit to Harry, I feel he's not emotionally strong enough to cope with the thought of his godfather meeting up with his dead parents back there, but I'm sure they have found him for me."  
"You mean..." my voice came out weaker and more hoarse than I'd ever heard it, "there's a way of contacting people behind there?"   
"Only a handful of Wizards are able to contact people beyond the veil. As I have said already, I've studied the veil for years. I thought maybe being able to contact James and Lily would come in useful. They will hopefully be explaining to Sirius what he has to do."

Dumbledore stood up, "We need to exit this room for it to work properly. I'll take you and Harry back into the corridor to explain what will happen next."  
Taking the offered arm to help me up from the cold stone base of the dias, I stood and shivered. Dumbledore walked in front with Harry, I kept one pace behind them as we slowly made our way back into the corridor. Conjuring three comfy chairs, Dumbledore gestured for us both to sit down. I looked at Harry for the first time since he'd broken away from my grip, and noticed his face was also tear-stained. He had a look of panic about him; the feeling that I had been suppressing with raw emotion had obviously broken through with him.  
"There is a reason," Dumbledore said to the silent air around him, "why I needed to keep you both here this evening. It regards Sirius, and the chance that my studies of the veil will have proved fruitful."   
I glanced over at Harry who was looking more confused than I felt.  
"If two people prove they have a need for Sirius, he can return at the last stroke of midnight." Dumbledore looked over at Harry, "I see I've definitely found one of the people in Harry."  
Harry and Dumbledore both looked over towards me, I could feel those twinkling blue eyes boring into my mind, reading my thoughts. I will admit I was slightly scared that the Headmaster may have blurted out my true feelings for Sirius: I'm sure he saw them, lodged at the back of my head, but thankfully he didn't mention anything except, "I also have the second".

"Harry, it's five minutes to midnight. Take this Portkey back to my office, and we'll meet you there in about fifteen minutes. Sirius needs to enter that room entirely alone, else it will confuse him."   
Reluctantly taking the offered Portkey, Harry counted to three and was gone. I looked up at the Headmaster, waiting for my instructions.  
"We'll wait in here for another five minutes, Remus. Once Sirius has reappeared we can enter the room." Those five minutes were the longest I had ever experienced, seeming even longer than waiting for the outcome of my OWLs and NEWTs at Hogwarts. 

Memories of Sirius kept playing through my mind on a continuous loop. The first time Sirius and I had met on the train to Hogwarts, Sirius realising I was a werewolf, and finally coming out to say those immortal words 'I love you". The thought of spending the second full moon this month without him had been too much, but was it sensible to raise my hopes that he would return? Could I put my utter trust in Dumbeldore's ability to perform exceptional magic? I looked back at the Headmaster, his face looking tired and drained, but still radiating confidence and skill and knew the answer. Having been invited into Hogwarts by this incredible wizard, how could I possibly doubt him?

After a while, Dumbledore checked his watch and looked towards the fateful room. I remained still, listening for any sound of my mate returning from the veiled archway. I could hear a feint sound of footsteps, but remained silent and still, waiting for Dumbledore to give the instructions on what to do next.  
"It is time," he said, "come with me."  
Together we walked back down the corridor, stopping at the entrance. I couldn't bring myself to look into the room, so Dumbledore walked in first. My senses heightened as a werewolf, I could feel a spell being performed, but I wasn't able to tell which spell or who from. It didn't seem strong enough to be Dumbledore: anyone with his skill would radiate a stronger magical field of energy. Could it be Sirius? I was too confused to know, almost scared to think it was him in case the veil hadn't allowed him to return. What if it had been locked shut by a Deatheater?

Interrupting my thoughts, Dumbledore came towards me once more, beckoning me into the room. I took a deep breath and stepped forwards, scanning the room for any sign of life. Looking overthe dias I caught sight of a figure standing beside the veil, slowly walking towards Dumbledore.   
"Sirius!"  
I ran faster than I ever thought was possible in human form, flinging my arms around him, hugging him as if my life and his depended on it. No way was I going to let go of him now. Sirius nestled his face into my neck as I clung onto him, a powerful embrace that could say more than words ever could. I felt the gentle force of Apparation next to me, but didn't look up. Dumbledore was saying something to Sirius about a Portkey to get us to Hogwarts and Harry, but neither of us wanted to break the embrace. A flash of Phoenix fire and Dumbledore was gone, leaving us standing on the cold flagstone floor, warmth radiating from us.  
"Missed you," I muttered as Sirius moved his head back from my neck and looked me straight in the eyes.  
"Missed you too," he whispered huskily as he leant forwards, his mouth melting into mine.


End file.
